Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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