today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
