i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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