do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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