I wannas sexs uuuuu
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
