Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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