they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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