she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
