I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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