Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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