You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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