the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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