Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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