ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize