Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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