we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
