Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
