I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize