i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
