so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
