and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize