Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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