Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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