Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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