the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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