Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
