Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
