i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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