was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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