Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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