bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
