Welp...herpes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
