I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
