She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize