The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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