the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
