he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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