It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
