Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize