why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
