So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
