Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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