Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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