I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
