grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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