i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
