"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
