There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
