i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
is it fun? or sober?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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