Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize