Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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