wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
