WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
