He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize