It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't turn off my feet"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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