he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
