i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize