i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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