Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he puts the penis in happiness.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize