i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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