What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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