Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
