Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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