dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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