I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
