She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
