Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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