remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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