Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize