Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
