you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
